|
 |
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Only in China (Swimming Pool) |
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Only in
Hawaii |
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Only in India |
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Only in Mexico |
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Only in
Texas |
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And Finally... Only in America |
STRANGE
FACT |
Doctors: Statistics courtesy
of the Canadian Dept of Health & Human 1. The number
of guns owned in Canada is 80,000,000 So statistically,
doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do. FACT: NOT EVERYONE
HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT Then we
would be in real trouble!!! |
CLOCKS IN HEAVEN |
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all the clocks?"St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.""Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that one?" "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she's never told a lie." "Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that one?" St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that old Abe only told two lies in his entire life. "Where's Paul Martin's or Jean Chrétien's clock?" asked the man."They're in Jesus' office. He's using them as ceiling fans." |
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| 1. Why doesn't glue stick to
the inside of the bottle? 2. Can fat people go skinny-dipping? 3. Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 4. Why is the word abbreviation so long? 5. Is it possible to be totally partial? 6. What's another word for thesaurus? 7. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 8. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? 9. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? 10. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? |
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|
The Halloween pumpkin on your front
porch has more teeth than your spouse. |
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| "I
would like to live forever, because we should not live forever, because
if we were ever supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but
we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever." --
Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." -- Brook Shields "After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post." -- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island "I've always thought that under populated countries in Africa are vastly underpopulated." -- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." -- David Dinkins, mayor of New York City "I've never had major knee surgery on any part of my body." -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." -- Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C. "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history -- this century's history--We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Dan Quayle |
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| MOVIE 1 | MOVIE 3 | MOVIE 4 | |
